Louise

So i’ve been on anti depressants for about 6 months now. The dose had to be increased a couple of times but we’re slowly trying to bring it back down.

I feel bad again. I have to keep an elastic band around my wrist so i can snap it every so often. It’s like it stops me twitching and showing how i’m really feeling. As much as i want to i CAN’T cut because i’m home now and my parents will definitely see. If i do, i have to go into hospital or something and can’t go on holiday with them.

No matter how hard i try i can’t lose weight and i can’t find a job. These wont make my life perfect but they’ll help me achieve some of the things i want to? 

I’ve been trying really really hard, i have… but everyone around me increasingly expects more and more from me which i’m not strong enough to give yet; it was only a matter of months ago i was so ill i tried to die…

i can’t be your perfect girl just yet, i’m sorry. 

HIYA PRO ANA.

Sorry, tried doing it the ‘recommended’ way and it’s done Jack shit.

Sick of being the fat one of my friends.

Elastic bands round my wrists. Keeps me out of trouble.

I’m really looking forward to Summer, for sure, but a couple of things keep bothering me.

What if we’ve all grown and adapted to our new lifes and friendships in a way that we no longer fit together? What if people start to feel like they’d rather be with their new friends than the people they grew up with?

I’ve always believed that you can try and start over and have a new begining but the person you are today was built by the people in your past so you can never fully deny your past or the people in it because they will always be with you; In You.